FTS?

Friend, Trust & Support


After a conversation with a friend on whatsapp, (again love Iphone.)
I have to confess that I have been so lucky to have a particular support from someone I am still getting to know. She lives in Sweden, has two adorable children, a girl and a boy. Not once have I met her.
She texted her existence into my life the 4th of January 21.49 on the dot, I cried as reading her supporting text message.
Someone I didn’t know understood me.

Another friend far away had suffered from baby blue/ Postpartum Depression. Back then I thought it will not happen to me and I felt sorry for my friend who I know was over the moon to be a mum.

It did happen to me. I had my bundle of joy during Christmas time = family time. I had my family with us and later on my other half parents. But then suddenly a horrible day came and they were gone. Just like that G O N E. I cried non-stop and even more every time I was holding my little one. I did not know what to do.
Today I feel guilty about having baby blues, as I got so much love and sometimes others might feel that I am drown him with it

I got all these amazing support, midwife Gilly (everyone should have a midwife like Gilly, I still see her, she calms and make me and my baby smile) who got me to see Chris. Chris is one of a kind, he opens my stubborn mother eyes and somewhere on our building bridges I know “that I know my baby better then anyone”.

My Jen, looking after me. Thanks to her that text message on the 4th did mirecle and I am forever glad I got another friend. Jen did something else for my sad soul. On a weekend, a Saturday morning, I wasen’t really that kin to do anything. I jumped in to the shower really late. I heard Jen go inside as I out. My Helly was there.
My 2 friends. I cried non stop, repeating

- “how did you get here???"

Support is important after given birth and is needed for a very long time.
So instead of coming with useless sentence, like; what you should and shouldn’t do for the baby or get the new mother to doubt her already good job, and even worse just because you have had children of your own does not make you a baby expert. Forbid you might have raised child/children in the Stone Age I know you will never stop being a parent, but you, got your chance. If this is YOU! You should just SHUT UP.

You will only, end up with a horrible stamp, and even worse the new mother may never trust you to be alone with her bundle of joy! Respect & trust is very important when a little human being is involved, even more if it is your own flesh and blood.

In psychology, trust is believing that the person whom is trusted will do what is expected. It starts at the family and grows to others. According to the psychoanalyst Erik Erikson development of basic trust is the first state psychosocial development occurring, or failing, during the first two years of life. Success results in feelings of security, trust, and optimism, while failure leads towards an orientation of insecurity and mistrust

Seriously think about whom, you want to be. The person not being trusted with the baby/babies?
Or be a wonderful, forever grateful friend/support?

Loads of love to all of you! You know who you are!